Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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