what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
