Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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