I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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