3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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