I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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