I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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