Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
