i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
