I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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