I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize