Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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