I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
