This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
