apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
