well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize