Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
