Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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