One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize