I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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