just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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