it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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