did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
