we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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