I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
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i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK