She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
NoShamevember. You game?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
