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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

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• (845): View more from New York

  tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.

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