Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq

Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (1257)
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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha

Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (857)
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(773): View more from Illinois

it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"

(708): View more from Illinois

I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.

(773): View more from Illinois

don't worry... so do I

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(773): it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man" (708) I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights. (773) don't worry... so do I http://tfl.nu/9jx5

Replies (24) Good night (710) Bad night (4055)
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(971): View more from Oregon

you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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(971): you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything? http://tfl.nu/ldjb

Replies (25) Good night (5404) Bad night (866)
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(347): View more from New York

I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

(347): View more from New York

I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

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(347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN (347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/s3su

Replies (41) Good night (11407) Bad night (2361)
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(585): View more from New York

I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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(585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh

Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (6457)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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(413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf

Replies (78) Good night (6480) Bad night (848)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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(410): I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night. http://tfl.nu/medf

Replies (13) Good night (4386) Bad night (1253)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.

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(610): I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun. http://tfl.nu/gl1b

Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (1210)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

(734): View more from Michigan

Your friend and I already don't get along

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(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe

Replies (4) Good night (3526) Bad night (799)
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(219): View more from Indiana

I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.

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(219): I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex. http://tfl.nu/x3q5

Replies (13) Good night (1014) Bad night (1395)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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(630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x

Replies (11) Good night (645) Bad night (1632)
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(716): View more from New York

Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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(716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum

Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (579)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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(816): Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg. http://tfl.nu/r8tk

Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (516)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

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(201): It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned. http://tfl.nu/85cz

Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (303)

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