After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
