I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
