She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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