I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Say something about gay babies.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
