isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
