Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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