I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
