That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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