Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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  (216): make any headway on the foot/dick situation? http://tfl.nu/ein6
  Replies (7) Good night (625) Bad night (2088)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  zippers are such a cool invention

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  (201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh
  Replies (29) Good night (4781) Bad night (617)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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  (703): grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it http://tfl.nu/pj49
  Replies (28) Good night (717) Bad night (3867)
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4741) Bad night (1411)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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  (507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw
  Replies (5) Good night (2640) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping

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  (216): He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping http://tfl.nu/ku3q
  Replies (9) Good night (979) Bad night (3118)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.

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  (210): If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever. http://tfl.nu/5js7
  Replies (8) Good night (4204) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (284): View more from British V.I.-Carib

  they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.

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  (284): they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration. http://tfl.nu/df1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1486) Bad night (721)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.

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  (+44): This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night. http://tfl.nu/3g1n
  Replies (5) Good night (1771) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

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  (808): And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up. http://tfl.nu/dab6
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (752)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.

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  (330): shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/iapt
  Replies (5) Good night (1329) Bad night (533)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.

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  (208): You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch. http://tfl.nu/o56t
  Replies (1) Good night (1274) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.

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  (205): It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots. http://tfl.nu/unba
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.

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  (902): When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know. http://tfl.nu/c52r
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup

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  (919): I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup http://tfl.nu/nvuh
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (225)

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