Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.