I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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