No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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