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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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• (951): View more from California

  my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (315): View more from New York

  I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by

  (256): View more from Alabama

  he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch

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• (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?

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• (518): View more from New York

  THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.

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