So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.