Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.

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  (216): you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently. http://tfl.nu/85of
  Replies (7) Good night (3701) Bad night (648)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.

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  (405): I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning. http://tfl.nu/v1az
  Replies (9) Good night (3603) Bad night (1468)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...

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  (616): took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding... http://tfl.nu/s10s
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (897)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.

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  (570): it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing. http://tfl.nu/57qo
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (492)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you believe in miracles?

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  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
  Replies (5) Good night (1392) Bad night (603)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow

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  (602): He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/0y69
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (582)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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  (813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g
  Replies (6) Good night (3190) Bad night (704)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

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  (631): He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims. http://tfl.nu/mqeu
  Replies (16) Good night (2547) Bad night (831)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (1145) Bad night (386)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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  (847): The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one. http://tfl.nu/8fpw
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (414)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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  (760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (399)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (353)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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  (304): And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/3w59
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (261)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"

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  (630): There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!" http://tfl.nu/d703
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (328)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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  (250): I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pg6b
  Replies (3) Good night (236) Bad night (485)

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