i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo