Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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  (505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9
  Replies (12) Good night (4280) Bad night (598)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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  (256): he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/xdnw
  Replies (60) Good night (775) Bad night (4131)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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  (414): My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday. http://tfl.nu/h79n
  Replies (10) Good night (4285) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

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  (248): She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls.. http://tfl.nu/aren
  Replies (5) Good night (2612) Bad night (1253)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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  (360): We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced. http://tfl.nu/trxy
  Replies (4) Good night (3461) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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  (512): We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping" http://tfl.nu/lb53
  Replies (7) Good night (2924) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

  (949): View more from California

  In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

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  (949): I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket. (949): In a moving vehicle and other people in the car http://tfl.nu/58wf
  Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (522)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.

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  (409): Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since. http://tfl.nu/vhst
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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  (774): Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is? http://tfl.nu/utv4
  Replies (7) Good night (1385) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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  (402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I cannot FaceTime with your penis

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  (312): I cannot FaceTime with your penis http://tfl.nu/6572
  Replies (10) Good night (1076) Bad night (546)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.

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  (719): If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget. http://tfl.nu/97vy
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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  (484): HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again http://tfl.nu/udnf
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.

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  (201): Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus. http://tfl.nu/06dr
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You're the horniest male I have ever encountered

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.

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  (334): You're the horniest male I have ever encountered (404): Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you. http://tfl.nu/3v94
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (337)

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