Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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