its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
