Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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