WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Randomize
