everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
