I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
