Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
