In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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