i think my tv is drunk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
