Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.