R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
