Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize