Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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