too bad you live with your parents still
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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