So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
