Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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