i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
