Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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