he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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