He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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